Cleansing Flames Page 2

  ‘And so I should trust you?’

  ‘Sir, permit me to remind you: you initiated this conversation. You held on to my arm. You forced your manifesto on me. I asked nothing of you, least of all that you should trust me.’

  The other man smiled and nodded approvingly. ‘I chose you not just because of your hunger –’

  ‘My hunger?’

  ‘For the flames,’ explained the stranger. ‘I chose you also for your intelligence.’

  ‘I do not appreciate being chosen.’

  ‘Of course you don’t. Which is another reason why I chose you!’ The man was delighted at his paradoxical remark.

  Virginsky gave an exasperated sigh.

  The man seemed to relent. ‘If you were to look for me in a tavern, you would do well to start in Haymarket Square.’

  Suddenly, the night seemed to cry out in protest. It was a bestial sound, a baying, looping roar, vibrating with panic and wild fury, a hundred contorted throats stretched in the darkness. For a moment, Virginsky could not explain it, and it frightened him for that reason: it was as if pure irrationality had been given voice. Was this what the great idea released? You started from reason and rationality and ended with this: the sound of animal terror in the night.

  It frightened him too because it was so close.

  He looked towards the source of the noise. It was coming from the Zoological Gardens, he realised with relief. The animals were jittery at the unnatural brightness that seemed to surround them, and at the whiff of fire in their nostrils.

  When he looked back, he saw that his companion had gone. Virginsky thought he detected a lingering smell of something pungent and combustible where the man had been.

  Ahead of him he could see the contained flickering of the beacons at the top of the twin rostral towers on the Strelka. The ceremonial lights seemed feeble in comparison to the destructive wildness of the fire he had just come from. A plank walkway led across the ice towards the tip of Vasilevsky Island; in a day or so, it would be replaced with a pontoon bridge.

  The walkway was clear. Wherever his companion had gone, he had not crossed the river there.

  The boards creaked and dropped dangerously as Virginsky stepped onto them. His heart lurched. He took two steps and the boards sank sharply. His arms windmilled as he struggled to keep his balance.

  Virginsky swore under his breath, suddenly unsure that he would make it to the other side. The walkway had felt more solid when he had crossed it earlier that evening. All the comings and goings to and from the fires must have weakened the ice beneath it. In many ways it was the worst possible place to cross the river, now that the river was so close to thawing.

  But he did not want to get caught on the Petersburg side.

  He took slow, shuffling steps, his arms extended either side of him, a tightrope walker suspended over the icy depths of the Neva. He counted his steps. It was an old habit, from his student days, when he had wandered the streets of the city, often in a semi-starved trance.

  By the time he got to the other side, he had counted eight hundred and twelve. His calves were aching with tension, almost locked solid. But as soon as he set foot on the Strelka, and felt the firm kick of the ground beneath him, his legs turned to jelly.

  There were scattered groups of drunkards wandering over the Strelka, shouting raucously and passing bottles around. Virginsky hurried quickly on.

  He crossed the Bolshaya Neva by the Isaakievsky Bridge and soon found himself in Admiralty Square. The square was filled with looming shapes, monstrous silhouettes stalking the night. It took a moment for Virginsky to understand what he was seeing. These were the temporary constructions of the fair, the balagany – great square booths for street theatre and puppet shows; he could also make out two towering ice mountains, a dormant carousel and a row of swingboats idling in their frame. It had all been thrown up in the days before Easter. The square was almost empty now, just a few drunken revellers staggering bewildered between the closed-up booths. It made an eerie impression on Virginsky’s nerves. The ghosts seemed to be waiting for him to leave so that they could continue their revelry. At one moment he thought he could hear the echoing din of the clashing sounds that would fill the square tomorrow. It was as if something violent and yet vital was about to be unleashed on the city.

  He realised it was just the cries of the roaming drunks.

  *

  Back in his rented room on Gorokhovaya Street, Virginsky lit a tallow candle and set it on the small desk beside his bed. His bottle-green civil-service uniform was hanging on the back of his door. It seemed to look down on him disapprovingly.

  Virginsky shook his head at the notion. He was simply projecting his own self-disapproval onto the uniform, turning a set of clothes into a conscience. Wasn’t this how man created God in the first place? If it wasn’t a set of clothes it was an idolatrous object, or some more sophisticated refinement of that – a symbol or a set of stories.

  At any rate, the uniform was nothing more than the externalisation of his conscience. Still, it made him uncomfortable. He turned his back on it deliberately.

  He wanted tea, but it was too late to disturb Anya, his landlady’s servant.

  One day I will have my own samovar, he decided. Then I can drink tea whenever I want.

  Virginsky imagined the axe-headed man’s sarcastic smile, as though he had overheard his thoughts and was mocking their pseudo-revolutionary tenor. Samovars for all!

  He sat at the desk and took out the handbill. What he read chimed strangely with his own recent sentiments

  God the Nihilist

  I do not say that God is dead,

  Nor deny that God exist.

  But this I affirm instead:

  God is a Nihilist.

  God is man-made, but no less real;

  Of man’s fears, does he consist.

  Stitched from such stern material,

  No wonder God’s a Nihilist.

  The only Truth is human reason.

  God knows this and does not resist.

  Religion is a dog with fleas on,

  So says God the Nihilist.

  Thus God assents to his own undoing,

  And ushers in the realists.

  Faith’s a juice for slaves to stew in,

  Now all our Gods are Nihilists.

  For every nation creates its own God,

  And on its God, it does insist.

  Which I think you’ll agree is odd,

  Knowing God’s a Nihilist.

  Human conscience governs all.

  The one true Law is humanist.

  There was no apple and no fall,

  And the only God, a Nihilist.

  Virginsky couldn’t resist a smile. It was undoubtedly nonsense, and would not stand up to scrutiny, but still there was a certain originality to the central idea. God a nihilist, indeed! He would have to remember that for Porfiry Petrovich. He dared say it would succeed in provoking the old man.

  But really, what was the point of it all? What did the author hope to achieve?

  In truth, the poem struck him as quite tame and harmless, even with the added call to arms that was printed beneath in bolder typeface:

  Christ the enslaver, Not the saviour.

  Pull down the icons! Steal the precious stones!

  Set fire to the crosses! Desecrate the churches!

  A church is itself a desecration of the one Truth

  – Human reason.

  He would add it to his collection, but he had to confess he was disappointed.

  Petersburg burns

  Demyan Antonovich Kozodavlev chose to remain at his apartment, watching the orange glow that was visible from his fifth-storey room. But he was a journalist, for God’s sake! Wasn’t it his duty to get out there and report what was happening? For, undeniably, momentously, something was happening.

  A year ago, Paris had burnt. Now it was St Petersburg’s turn.

  As his eyes widened to drink in the flaring glow, Kozodavlev bit d
own on the nail of his right thumb. He glanced over his shoulder nervously. But there was no one there to witness his reactions. Even so, he felt acutely self-conscious. No, it was more than self-consciousness, it was an unshakable sense that there was someone with him, there in the room and always, watching his every move. Was it her presence? But she had left him a lifetime ago, and he did not believe in ghosts. Besides, if she were to come back from the dead, he would be the last person she would choose to haunt, unless the dead were moved by regret in ways the living were not.

  He turned back to the window, towards the lambent pulse that fringed the sky. The fire flashed and rose, reaching a startling height in the surrounding darkness.

  An apartment building, most likely.

  Kozodavlev winced and bit harder on his nail. Was he imagining the roar of the people? Was it a roar of approval or rage at what had been unleashed in their name? Or was it the dying roar of those trapped in the flames?

  He could hear the tocsins of the fire carts and imagined himself among the crews, handing grateful residents from the burning ruins. After all, property was the target of the attacks, not people. He had always been clear about that.

  The consoling fantasy did not last. It was replaced by a cold certainty, more frightening than dread. If he was right and it was an apartment building, people would certainly die. Some of them would be workers.

  That was bad, very bad.

  These were the people on whose behalf these acts were committed. Or so he had always supposed.

  Again he looked over his shoulder and again reassured himself that he was alone.

  He had heard the arguments before, made them himself on many occasions, in print as well as at meetings. Sacrifices were necessary. Whoever was called upon should consider it an honour to give himself to the cause.

  Besides, the people had brought this all on themselves. If only they had taken up the call when the time was right, none of this would be necessary. But you couldn’t trust the people to act in their own interests. Really, the bovine passivity of the Russian peasant beggared belief! Even when the Tsar had cheated them out of what was due to them with that sleight of hand known as the Great Reforms, they were too stupid to see the fraud that had been perpetrated on them.

  No, you couldn’t leave anything to the people. You had to take up the cudgels on their behalf, even if it meant a few hundred of them were incinerated in the process.

  The fires seemed to be spreading.

  Had it indeed begun?

  All that they had planned for?

  Kozodavlev did not sleep at all that night, didn’t even retire to his bed. Even after the last throb of amber had died from the sky, he continued to stand at the window, straining the darkness for sight of fresh fires. A nerve sprang into frantic, flickering life beneath his left eye. The end of his thumb was wrinkled from sucking, though he had still not bitten through the nail.

  At last the true dawn broke. Slow, celestial flames stretched languidly across the full extent of the sky, dwarfing the bonfires of the previous night.

  Not God – no, not God. Never!

  Even he admitted that there was something suspect about the fact that he had to remind himself of this truth. It was nature, science, the position of the earth in relation to the sun, atmospheric conditions – that was all. This rosy grandeur had nothing at all to do with any divinity. It intimated nothing more than another warm day ahead, and the promise of a thaw.

  Kozodavlev turned away from the window and threw himself down onto his bed. He was surprised to discover that where his face touched the pillow, there were traces of dampness. He wiped the rim of one eye with the knuckle of a finger, lay down his head again, and slept.

  *

  His dreams were disturbed, but not broken, by the pounding rumble of cannon fire. He knew in the depths of his sleeping Russian soul that they were the cannons of the Peter and Paul fortress, signalling the breaking of the ice and the start of spring. And so the commander of that fortress entered his dream, in all his finery, offering him a crystal glass of pure Neva water, as if he, Kozodavlev, were the Tsar. But it was his hunger that finally woke him.

  By the time he put on his coat to go out, a bright spring day was well under way.

  There was still snow underfoot, hard-packed and obdurate after the long winter. Lattices of frost clung defiantly to the bases of walls and parapets. But the sun was crisp and businesslike in a clear sky. He felt its warmth on his face, the rays of the new season burning down destructively on the remnants of the old. As he walked, he was aware of the thin layer of greasy slush forming.

  He came to the Moika river, heart quickening. The proximity of any large body of water did this to him now. Instinctively, before looking down at the surface of the river, Kozodavlev checked behind him, as if he believed that whoever was spying on him would have noticed this change in his physiology.

  Which of these harmless-looking citizens, apparently going about their business without paying him any heed, was the Third Section spy assigned to watch him? He avoided looking too inquiringly into any of the faces that passed him by. But none of them jumped out. He was almost reassured.

  At last he peered down, over the balustrade. He knew that he had been delaying this moment, and knew precisely why. It was as he had feared. The surface of the river was mottled with grey slabs of ice, edged in frothy white. Around the slabs, the black water seethed and lapped.

  The thaw had begun.

  Kozodavlev resumed walking along the Moika embankment, towards the Winter Canal. As he turned the corner, he glanced up along the length of the narrow canal, spanned by a series of bridges, and squeezed between two sheer faces of palace buildings. Ahead of him was the Hermitage Bridge and beyond that the full expanse of the river Neva.

  He could hear strange clashing sounds, almost music; rather, what music would sound like if it were at war with itself.

  The water of the canal, visible between the series of bridges that spanned it, was flecked with more of the same fragments of ice. The effect reminded Kozodavlev of psoriatic flakes lying loosely on the skin.

  The sense of someone watching him was stronger than ever now. Indeed, he had come back to the place where he could confront the one who would never leave him. The one he had sensed standing behind him all through the preceding night.

  It was idiotic. Why had he come here? In the hope of attaining some kind of release, or even redemption? Unnecessary. Irrelevant. The idea of redemption did not conform to a rationalistic outlook, which was the only kind of outlook possible. There was no need for redemption, there was nothing for which to be redeemed. Most importantly of all, there was no one to redeem him.

  Everything that had happened, everything that he had played a part in – it had all occurred for the very best, the most rational, of reasons. More than that, it was necessary that it happened. He could have no qualms on that front. He should have no qualms at all.

  And yet, he had to admit, some of the risks they had taken were not rational. He had made his point at the time. There were aspects of the incident that were coloured by a lurid spirit of recklessness. That was nothing to do with him. He had not approved of it. He had objected to it. They should limit themselves to what was called for by the logic of social and political science. That was what he had said at the time. He had accepted that the deed was necessary on scientific principles; therefore it should have been executed scientifically too. But it was almost as if Dyavol had taken pleasure from it.

  Dyavol. How appropriate the man’s nickname was. The gleam in his eye when he had pulled the trigger was the Devil’s own. He had seen it in her eye when she had made her choice and gone to him, as if the gleam was what drew them together.

  In all conscience, Kozodavlev had nothing to reproach himself with. Indeed, had he not long ago successfully argued away the very existence of conscience, at least as something pertaining to a man such as himself?

  All that was true enough. What was also true was that he ha
d come back to the Winter Canal and was now scanning the surface of the water as if he expected to receive from it some kind of . . .

  At last the word came to him. Absolution.

  Kozodavlev was suddenly aware that he was not alone. His thoughts had been so isolating that he had failed to register even the group of young sailors who were running boisterously along the embankment towards the far end of the canal. But now their sharp, joyful cries spiralling in the clear spring air drew him out of his reverie.

  As they ran and yelped, they shed their clothes.

  One by one, whooping and goading each other wildly, the now naked sailors clambered onto the balustrade and threw themselves howling into the water. Eventually only one man was left, clinging hesitantly to the wrong side of the balustrade, laughing and shaking his head defiantly in the face of his companions’ jeers.

  And then even he let go.

  Kozodavlev felt the apprehension tighten inside him as he watched this sailor disappear beneath the ice-capped water. He had a bad feeling about the boy – for he was little more than a boy. The chances were, he couldn’t swim, which was why he had been so reluctant to take the plunge. Kozodavlev hoped that the other sailors would look out for him. If the boy drowned, it would be a tragedy. Such a death – an unnecessary death – was unpardonable.

  If they must die, let them die for a reason. For the cause.

  Thus Kozodavlev reassured himself that he was not a monster.

  Then, at last the boy re-emerged, and Kozodavlev saw that he could swim as well as his fellows, despite being somewhat slighter in build. His reluctance perhaps had been feigned, or it was simply the prospect of the icy shock that had put him off.